When most people think of keeping the spice alive in a relationship, their thoughts automatically go to the bedroom.
When most people think of keeping the spice alive in a relationship, their thoughts automatically go to the bedroom. However, relationships extend beyond the bedroom and so relationship advice should, too. Get out of the gutter and check out this list of 15 tips that will help you make your long term relationship stronger and more enjoyable for the both of you.
Of course you can’t share every space or you’d grow apart. However, having a bathroom for each of you, or perhaps your own hobby rooms, such as a crafting or wood shop space, can give you each a place to pursue your independent interests. You’ve already learned that independence is attractive, so this is a double whammy tip.
Whenever you aren’t driving or operating heavy machinery, shoot your mate a text message. Just a simple phrase of “how’s your day” or “been thinking about you today” will bring happiness to your loved one’s heart. Let them know that you are thinking of them, and it’ll remind them to think about you as well, which is a winner-winner on the love scale.
Notice this says “physical” but not in the bedroom where most of us think we should keep our romance hidden? Nope, this refers to sharing physical contact in public, that fearful thing commonly called public displays of affection (PDA). While you may want to hold off on full massages while at your favorite restaurant, you should be holding hands, shoulder squeezing or hugging frequently — even in public.
People change, that’s a matter of life. Therefore, you should look at recommitting your lives to one another now that you are at a different phase, such as empty nesters or in the peak of your careers. This re-commitment doesn’t have to be a major performance; make a simple video showing your partner that you’d like to recommit to them for the next so many years.
The world hardly knows what a letter is anymore. That shouldn’t deter you from using this old fashioned form of communication with your sweetheart. Pen your partner a letter that shows how much you care, love, think and desire them. Best of all, reading the letters out loud to one another is shown to immediately treat symptoms of depression.
Just as with church services, rituals help you create an atmosphere of serenity and community. With your partner you can create rituals as a way to connect on a deeper level. Whether that means hopping in the hot tub every Friday night together or sharing a bottle of wine as you chat about your day, this ritual will be something you can anticipate together.
Ask your partner, “What was the best part of your day?” every day at a set time, such as during dinner or pre-bedtime rituals. Be enthusiastic and ask questions to show your interest as you get them to relive their exciting experiences through you. Research shows this is called capitalizing, and it involves making others feel happy when you are sharing your own happy times.