I follow a woman on Twitter that goes by @Relationship101 . She tweeted out some very good advice that I felt was worth sharing. “Don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry, don’t decide when you’re sad and respect their decision to do the same.” Wiser words have never been Tweeted.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, whether it’s a new romance or you’ve been married for thirty years, or maybe it’s just a friendship, this same advice still applies. Allow me to expound.
We’ve all done it. Something has gone extremely well for us and in that moment of bliss we make promises just a little too easily. We get caught up in the moment of happiness and excitement and it feels like anything is possible. Go ahead and enjoy the moment, of course, just regulate yourself so that you don’t commit to things you might not otherwise have committed to. This will only lead to regret later, plus you’ll have to either do it begrudgingly (no fun) or back out (kinda cruddy to do to a friend/lover/partner). If you do have to back out of a promise made in the heat of a moment, do it gently and with lots of apologizing. Just explain you got caught up in everything and you wish you hadn’t made a promise that you couldn’t keep. As long as you don’t do this too often, your friend/lover/partner should understand and forgive you.
Man is this ever true. Have you ever gotten into a disagreement on a phone call or in a text conversation? And things get outta hand and you find yourself really, really angry? I think that’s the time to put the phone down, and slowly back away. Or even better, reply and just say “I’m too upset to talk about it right now. Let’s talk again later.” And let that be that. Put the phone down, call a girlfriend, go clean something, but do not carry on with that original conversation as long as you’re still angry about it. Nothing positive is going to come out of you while you’re angry. It may make things worse. So don’t do it.
Maybe you’re sad or hurt because of something that happened and you found out about it, and now you’re sad. Now is not the time to make decisions. About anything. Not even your hair. You know how many times after a break up I’ve gone and tried to cut my own hair. It wasn’t pretty. No decisions while you’re sad. I think that’s really smart advice.
Now that’s strength. It’s one thing to make these rules for yourself, but respecting your friend/lover/partner’s right to do the same, now that is truly fair and probably the hardest piece of advice in this whole article. Respect their decision to do the same. Awesome. Thanks, @Relationship101 again for giving me true food for thought. Peace.