The saying that “breaking up is hard to do” really doesn’t even begin doing justice to how challenging a break up really can be – especially if you’re not the one who did the breaking up. Being stuck in the past and unable to get over your ex can put a huge damper on almost every aspect of your life, and leave you spiraling downward into a dark, negative place that seems almost impossible to get out of. If you’ve just gone through a break up, you need to take steps to get over your ex – stat!
Don’t leave your ex’s phone number in your phone “just in case” you need to contact them again. This is like leaving a slice of cake out on the counter and then telling yourself you can’t eat it, but it’s there “just in case” you ever need to. Why would you ever need to eat cake? You wouldn’t. And you won’t need to contact your ex.
This also means unfriending them on Facebook, unfollowing them on Twitter and generally making them less accessible to you – and you to them.
It’s natural to want to stay in your house after a break up, watching sad movies and looking at all of the pictures of you and your ex together. However, this is only going to serve to catapult you deeper in to “the dark place,” and it will be that much harder to climb out when you’re ready.
So it’s time to buck up, put on a nice outfit, and go out and have fun. Yes, fun. You are allowed to have fun after a break up, even if you’re super sad about the relationship ending. It lets you know that there are still good things in life, even in the midst of the bad.
If you’re angry, sad, depressed and perhaps even a little bit in denial, well . . . you’re a normal person. Breaking up doesn’t feel good at all, and it’s completely natural that you’re going to experience negative emotions like these. The key to getting over your ex is to not let these negative feelings take over. You need to recognize what you are feeling, allow yourself to experience them, and then move past them.
Make a list of the things your ex did to annoy you, or if you did the breaking up, the reasons you called it quits. It’s harder to ruminate about why they’re so-called perfect for you if you have clear reminders why they aren’t, in fact, perfect for you and why the relationship never would have worked anyways.
Time with your friends is super healing when you’ve just been through a break up, especially if you didn’t get a chance to spend much time with them during your relationship. Schedule a night out with several of your friends, or just spend some one on one time with your closest buds. Talk about whatever is on your minds, but don’t let your break up dominate the entire conversation.
Going back and getting your stuff from their place is just going to open up old wounds. Unless it’s sentimental items (pictures of you two together does not count) that can’t be replaced, let it go and use it as an excuse to buy yourself some cool new stuff. Alternatively, grab a box and put everything of theirs in it. If you can, pitch it and don’t look back. If the things seem important, see if one of your friends would be willing to take it to your ex instead of you.
Nurturing yourself definitely takes a back seat when you’re in a relationship, often because you’re so focused on the other person’s needs. After a break up, it’s the perfect time to get back into putting time into bettering yourself, whether it’s working out, taking a class or just doing some of the things you love to do.