In this fast-paced, ever-changing world we live in, people tend to change jobs multiple times throughout their lives. The same is proving to be true for love relationships; a recent Economist infographic showed that the average American who divorces does so after only eight years. While the idea of having just one primary partner for your entire lifetime is romantic and certainly possible, having two, three, or more long-term relationships has become increasingly common. Don’t despair; no matter what your age, you can find love again. Here are 15 tips to consider:
Start by writing down the qualities and characteristics you’d like in your new partner. Cover everything that’s important to you, from personality traits, to preferences, occupation, finances, future goals and physical appearance. Putting your wish list in writing is the first step toward making your new partner a reality, and doing so will help you start sending out signals to attract them.
Since love is a two-way street, take time to make sure you will be putting your best foot forward in your next love relationship. Now is the time to take stock of what went well in your last relationship, and what you could’ve done better. Seek out coaching if you have trouble getting clarity about yourself. Focus on personal development and being the best version of yourself possible.
You can’t meet a new partner by staying home and avoiding people. Make an effort to break old patterns and routines; start traveling in new circles so that you have the chance to meet potential new mates. Make a concerted effort to smile more at people you find attractive — and people in general. Cultivate a more sociable personality, and you’ll increase your odds of meeting that someone special more rapidly.
While it’s great to have a wish list (as described in tip 1), don’t be too rigid or inflexible about all of the items on it. While you will have your “deal breakers” — and rightly so — be open to letting some of the minor things slide if the new person is a match in nearly every other area. Human beings have flaws, so be open to being forgiving about them in both yourself and other people.
Chances are, the first new person you date after a breakup or dry spell won’t be “the One.” Yes, in some cases they could be, and if that happens to you — lucky you! However, try and see dating as a process, a fascinating journey with opportunities to meet new, interesting people. Who knows — some of the ones that don’t work out could become good friends.
Just as you’ll likely have to kiss a few frogs before finding that Prince or Princess, you may be seen as the “frog” a time or two as well. It’s just a fact — we can’t be all things to all people. As awesome as you are, be prepared for a certain measure of rejection as you re-enter the dating world. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, nor should you; just let it roll off your back as easily as a duck shakes off water.
While you have a wish list and a specific type you may be going for, why not take this opportunity to date people you hadn’t considered before? If you’ve been traditionally into conservative types, why not try dating a poet, an artist or a tattooed motorcyclist? Early on in your dating process, keep things light and expand your comfort zones. You’ll learn a lot about other people and yourself.
The dating world can be scary if you haven’t been in it for awhile. Don’t hesitate to lean on friends and family members during this time of getting yourself back out there. You might consider using a dating coach or matchmaker for moral support as well. Call a buddy whenever you’re feeling nervous about an upcoming date, or to get a pep talk after a “date gone wrong.”